Sometimes…

I originally wrote this October 12, 2015. Some things have changed. Some haven’t 



depression

 

It occurred to me this weekend that I don’t really have any of these people anymore 🙁

My best friend died a few years ago, my “Wednesday Lunch” friend spends most all her time traveling now and is unavailable.

When I go visit my Tuesday piano friend, my mom is always with me and she’s the one I usually want to talk about, the one who is judging me the most and complaining about life here in our home.

Of course, I love my mom but she can be so cruel in her comments.  I don’t know if she thinks she’s being funny but some of the things she says are so judgmental and hurtful.  Her own mom was kind of like this so I guess that’s where she learned this way of talking to others.

She knows I teach piano.  Since she lives with us, she complains when I practice, though. So, I find myself playing piano – not really practicing – when she’s out with DH walking the dog.  Maybe 20-30 minutes in the morning.

We belong to a Community Supported Agriculture farm and have for about 15 years.  She likes the free-to-her veggies but comments that we’re not getting our money worth because we’re not eating enough of them – or she didn’t like the type of tomatoes, or there weren’t enough cucumbers.  How in the world can you complain about something free?

Little digs here and there and sometimes bigger craters.  My DH says to ignore them or call her on them but I can’t seem to do that without being rude to her.

I remember these types of comments – and nothing supportive –  from when I was a young child.

Even when our son, her only grandchild, was born.  My DH took my parents to the hospital to see him and she said “when you’ve seen one baby, you’ve seen them all”.  Sheesh!

I later mentioned that it was nice that they had come to help with the baby and she said that they hadn’t, they’d come because it was Christmas time.  And she was right – they hadn’t helped.  My dad expected meals on the table precisely at noon and 5:00pm as always.

Time to end the pity party (for now)

 

pity-party-no